This week has been more of a challenge for me as I had to be gone for 4 days. I was able to keep up with most of my reading. The first day was spent on the road traveling; I stopped for a break and would read my readings then get back on the road. The 2nd.and 3rd. day I was able to get the reading in the mornings and evenings. All in all I missed 2 afternoon readings. The reason I am writing this is because, from missing those 2 readings I have lost those 2 reads and now in the afternoon I have to make myself make time for them. The old blue print saw a way back in and took it. I see from these actions just how much our subby runs the show and how easily it does so.
I took the camera along on this trip but never run across anything new to photograph, nothing jumped out at me that said CAPTURE ME! Did I allow my attitude to make that decision or was it really the same things I had already taken pictures of? Something to think about.
I missed the web cast Sunday do to a commitment I had made a few months ago and I now have watched it as a recording, seems so much less when it is not watched live. My schedule now makes sure in the future that I have the time to watch it live. I get so much more out of it live. I have gotten caught up to speed on the information and trying to implement the service cards.
My sit time is going well; I have no problem with the stillness nor the relaxation. Adding this last part of clearing all negative emotion is going to be a challenge. I just have to remember to tell the negative I am in control and that they serve me no good purpose. I can be What I will to be!
I still enjoy reading and re-reading Scroll 1, one would think that it would get old after a while but it does not. Now we are taking the word WILL out of the reading and this changes it from something that I will do to something that I am doing. This is a great feeling of accomplishment. Following the steps from MKMMA I have ex changed a bad habit of not learning anything productive to eagerly wanting to read and learn. A good habit replaced a bad habit. As stated in The Greatest Salesman “For it is another of nature’s laws that only a habit can subdue another habit”
I find now that when I find a word that I am unsure of the meaning I will go look it up in the dictionary and write down the definition. I use to just guess at what I thought it meant and allow my laziness to lead me the wrong direction. This is another exchange for me that lead’s me into more confidence and another good habit.
The sitting has been pretty easy for me so far, now adding relaxation will be easy for me as long as I don’t fall asleep before my time is up. I’ve had to watch myself and stay focused so as not to fall asleep anyway. Will require me to FOCUS more! This does make for a good night’s rest.
I have worked more on the appearance of my blog this week, I am happy with how it looks now, not so plain. I have used my own photographs of places around where I live and places I have traveled to. I enjoy taking pictures and looking at them makes me feel good about myself.
I have gotten more comfortable with the do it now statement, this gives me a sense that I CAN!
My journey has been up and down as I examine the feelings that the MKMMA bring up. I have admitted I NEED change and change is not always easy for me. The readings each day are a part of my day that I am beginning to look forward to. I still slip but now I have the tools to bring myself back into a positive place. I still struggle with the emotion part of things. I feel comfortable reading out loud now just need to put more feeling into it. The DO IT NOW is kind of a fun exercise. I have done it twice so far and it makes me laugh at myself at this point. I guess laughing is better than feeling stupid about it. I have done my chore that I set for myself. Looks good and makes me feel better about doing the task I promised myself I would do. I always have been pretty good about doing whatever project I have set for myself. I tend to feel it is easier to do it and have it done with. I look forward to the sitting at the end of my day and letting my mind wander. I have found that the more tired I am the less I tend to think at all. I see that this is a place where I need to rearrange so that I have the advantage of using the sit time better. I have very little problem sitting still for the time but sitting blank does not seem very productive. This blogging thing is still very new to me and I am always unsure if I am doing it correct. Guess it is a good learning experience for me, YOUR NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW!
This is a journey that I have needed for a very long long time. Confronting myself head on and asking myself, WHAT DO I WANT? Big scary question!
I have lived on this earth for 53 years now and the sad thing is I don’t really know exactly what it is I do want. Sure, I want the normal things like money and time but to dig down and find the unique thing that I want is not so easy.
Starting the Master Key process is a new way of looking at the small things in my life and determining that most of my thinking or lack of thinking is the reason my life is a mess. I have gone day to day without really thinking about the WHY’s of how I act or react to each thing that comes across my path. From reading and re-reading The Greatest Salesman I had a great deal of resistance in admitting that I was a slave to my habits. My first reaction was… I am not a slave to anything, OH RIGHT! Ok so now I can admit I am a slave to habits and that the habits are not good ones. I can realize that I can swap those bad habits for good ones. HAPPY DANCE! With the Master Keys I need to focus on changing the bad for GOOD. The daily readings three times a day feel like a good stability thing for me. I have had to force myself to read aloud, really felt strange at first but each time this too improves now I just need to really work on the emotion. I have always felt I am the type of person that has no level of excitement, some part of me was missing. My standard saying was… I have never gotten excited about anything in my life. Hoping that with the Master Keys and work that I can change this.
The sitting part of the exercises come pretty easy for me, I enjoy the quiet time that this allows. Letting my mind wander is a up and down thing. Sometimes my mind will wander to peaceful places I either remember or places I would like to go. Other times it just kinda sits there blank. Hmmmm.
All in all I feel that I am starting on a great journey and each day I will get better. Better control of the things I think in my mind, how I allow myself to react to those thing. This gives me a wonderful feeling of hope.
Just set up this blog.